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How do you approach relationship - transactional or relational?

 

Our success in life is dependent on the relationships we build. The critical question is how do you approach a relationship, are you transactional or relational?

You often hear the current POTUS say, "in our transaction with them", "they say beautiful things about us", "we gave them so much, now we have stopped because they did not say beautiful things about us", etc. A relationship built on "what can I get from you in return for what I do for you". This is common with rich people when they have money, they have many friends, when they do not have things to share again, even close friends desert them - they become a loner. Many marriages have fallen apart because they are transactional - when she is beautiful, she is my choice, when she grows wrinkles, I find me a new young beautiful one to replace her OR when he has money, he is mine, when he can no longer give the gifts, I find me another husband. Success in business or politics is often determined by how you approach relationship - do you charge high price one time and not get a callback or you are considerate in your marketing, do you swindle people of their money when they trust you with the same in a business and therefore lose the chance of recommendation? Do you maintain a humble demeanor when seeking admission to higher education abroad, and when you get there and you become arrogant and recalcitrant to the one who gave you a chance of a lifetime? I see this play out many times in Nigerian businesses - no trust, once they have got hold of your money, you are the one that pursues them, they do not deliver to time and they use lie after lie to cover up, you gain they lose and they never return or recommend your business to others.

The transactional relationships often don't stand the test of time before they fall apart. Because constant is the only constant thing, life changes and we change. The relational relationship is transformative - it grows with you, through thick or thin, it is built on mutual trust, it is patient and it delivers constantly and leads to lasting prosperity. This is why I am doubtful of the deal Trump struck with Bahrain and UAE - the devil is in the details. I was listening to him today, and all I heard was that we did this and they responded, and he even used the word "transaction". Marriages that will last will built on a relational approach not transaction, business that will flourish will be based on growing with your customers and drain them dry one time, and be looking for the next victim. Toyota is a great model of a company built on a relational approach of relationship - starting from the way they treat their staff, the suppliers, their collaborators and even their competitions. There is no auto company as efficient and deep-rooted as Toyota.

We all will live with our choices, how we approach our relationships will determine the outcomes we get. What will you choose after reading this message?

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