Akinbode's BLOG on Faith, Politics, Science, Engineering, Education and Health

A Yoruba proverb says "oro arokan, ni fa ekun a sun da" - meaning when you overthink a hurt, it leads to endless crying. One of the most difficult virtue to learn is forgiveness. It is the premise for the Christian faith. People of faith are commanded to forgive 70 times 7 times a day, that is 490 times a day. I do not think someone exist that get offended that much in one day. When you learn to forgive, your life is better, you sleep better, you are able to focus and walk around without feeling the weight or burden of the world on your shoulder. Who has offended you that you have not been able to forgive because it hurts so bad? Make conscious intentional effort to forgive the person - whether they ask for it or not. It does not mean you will forget, but a choice to let go releases the pain you feel when you remember. You are not doing them a favor but yourself. We are all imperfect and we live in an imperfect world. Let us learn to forgive on another.

It is important to know when to quit and have the courage to do so without a second thought. When you do not have principle, and you do not have a red line, you are messed up and compromised. Ask Reuben Abati, the foremost Nigerian political critic and then famous chief-editor of Guardian Newspaper - he dined with the people who ruined Nigeria, people he had spent his career criticizing, then he joined them. Abati did not know when to call it quit and his legacy is forever stained. Abati cannot recover for being the chief spoke's person for President Goodluck Jonathan - he was used to perpetuate and peddle lies for years, and he would not quit even though he had a flourishing career at Guardian before this job.

Many relationship have been soiled because of disappointment that one good favor was not returned. I act based on love spurned by immediate need, not on expectation that you will reciprocate when it is my turn. If I gave you so much when you are in need, I do not expect the same level of support from you when I am in need if I am aware you are incapable; I expect my friends to act the same way, not to expect me to support them by a measure of how they supported me but based on their need and what I am able to provide at that point in time. Giving (whatever it is) should be based according to ability and the present need, not reciprocity. Doing otherwise creates imbalance and place unnecessary pressure on relationship that eventually leads to animosity, contempt and break up.