I just got admitted to McGill University Canada in June 2004
for grad school, and I was overly elated. Then it remained how I was going to
fund my education because the admission was with no funding whatsoever. I
decided to take my chance because it was an opportunity of a life time to be
admitted to an elite university, ranked 12th in the world that time.
I remember one of my friends who graduated 2 years after me from Lautech was
already studying for his MSc in Canada and I wrote him an e-mail to loan me
some money because I heard he was on scholarship – the response came back with
a negative message. Initially, I did not understand why he could not loan me
some money but after carefully considering his plight, I began to understand
his situation. I understood better when I arrived in Canada and reality dawned
on me. Life abroad is not a bed of roses as some would think back home – if you
are not careful, you will go home empty handed. The situation is like what
people describe LAGOS as – “owo Eko, Eko lohun n’gbe” [Lagos money, hardly
leave Lagos]. Some of my friends who often implied I was stingy at some point when I was abroad and they were at home are here now, and they could
understand how difficult it is to make ends meet in the midst of some many responsibilities.
The situation is not any better when you start to work,
especially when immediate family is involved. If you are a middle-class family
here (with family income between $60k - $150k), you will barely have enough to
dish around as friends and family would expect you to because there are
important and urgent things asking for your money here. There are so many
people expecting you to send them money for all kind of reasons – some will say
my business needs resuscitation, can you give me money; a friend once asked me
to give her money to buy a piece of land for her school; some friends have stopped talking
to me because I stopped calling them because my calls did not come with Western Union and they don’t call me at all – they expect
I call them all the time, after all, I live abroad and I have all the money in
the world. Some would say, Bode has forgotten us now that he is abroad – no,
there are so many things begging for your time and resources here, and it is
no-work, no-pay in a lot of cases. I work as a professor in a university here
and my work is overly demanding. I work all the time because there are so many
things to do – teaching ONE class here is like teaching 3 classes in Nigeria;
your promotion depends on your students’ evaluation and record of nationally
competitive research grants that are really competitive - other people in different professiona have equal steep hill to climb before they get the best out of the system. Some people work
two-three jobs in order to take care of their needs here and to have some to send to
family and friends in their home country. Some cannot tell their family the
kind of hard labor job they do, and are still not appreciated. I am not saying
people abroad should not give or send money to friends or family, or that
people at home should not request for help when there is a life and death
situation. What I am saying is that people at home should understand that money
do not grow on trees abroad and it is a lot of sweat to earn money here, so whatsoever
you are given, appreciate it. In emergency situations where it is a matter of
life and death, our humanity should be touched to help in whatever way, but not
for everyday need that needed to be sorted out personally. Many times, I wanted
to engage people in conversation that will help them out of their predicament but
they are not interested in the information I have to share, all they want is that money – free money.
The money you earn abroad TODAY is not meant to be spent
without considering the past, present and the future – you will need to pay
back student loan (paid back student loan for 6 years, my wife is paying back her own loan now), take care of many bills and save towards your retirement,
else you will be in trouble when you retire and your savings could barely last
you more than few years. There are NO gratuity here, except you are an
executive who negotiated severance package. When you retire, it is what you
have saved up that will be there to support you. The situation is even more
dial for those of us who started late, we have a short time to save as much and
little time for it to grow to support us for a long time. So, if someone tells
you he is earning so much, know that the money is going into three (plus one)
portion – past, present and the future (and family and friends need in Nigeria),
unlike what you see in a country like Nigeria where what you are earning is
just for the present.
In my 5+ year as a student, with partial funding along the
way, it was never easy for me to make ends meet. I ended up with a loan of
almost $16,000 by the time I finished my PhD. It was that little because, the
first year, I had spent my life saving – I sold everything I owned in Nigeria, including
the only inheritance left for me and my brothers by our father – an acre of
land. I did not have a cell phone for those 5 plus years because I could not
afford to get one. Mind you, I had a fancy phone in Nigeria for about 2 years
before traveling to Canada. After taking care of my nucleus family expenses and
giving offering, I would have about $50 left to save. By the time I finished,
my family size had increased, we had our second child the year following my
graduation. A lot of people at home do not understand why people abroad cannot
afford to have more than 2 or 3 children. The cost of raising a child here is 3
to 5 times the cost of raising a child in Nigeria, that is if your children are going to public school (my children go to public school). The amount we pay for our two children's
after-school care is more than what I would spend to send them to an elite
private school in Nigeria.
Some people point to other returnees who come home and
starts spending money as if they have a machine that makes it in their closet.
Check, most of the time, this people did not work for that money.
The point I am making is that if a friend or family living
abroad says, I am sorry I cannot help you, know most of the time he is telling
the truth. Again, it is inappropriate to be asking your friend abroad to give
you money to pay for children’s school fees in private school while his own
children are going to public school; or to ask him money to start or revitalize
your business because he is not a bank and you will not give him equity in your
business – a lot of the time, free money is never well used, and it is almost
impossible for any middle-class person to afford money to help revitalize your
business. Do not expect money from people abroad to bury your mom or dad, it
does not make any sense. What differentiate an average middle-class person
living in the West and a country like Nigeria is the guarantee of security from
men of the underworld, access to good health care, constant power supply and a
good road to drive on. Aside from these, people at home who are in the same
class live a better life - while a lot of my friends have build one or two houses without any debt, my family has a house we are going to pay mortage on for 30 years i.e. 25% of our income for 30 years. I drive a car
purchased on loan, Nigerians drive pre-owned cars; my children go to public
school and your children go to private schools. You are guaranteed a gratuity
when you retire, I have ZERO gratuity because all is paid to me at the end of
the month, and it is left to me to save enough for my retirement. So, next time
you are asking someone for money, be sure it is a real need and not a frivolous
want.
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