Skip to main content

Dating or Courtship, which is right for a Christian?



Response to A Post Discouraging Christian Youths From Dating:

Caution! Dating or Courtship is all about semantics.
I think what we should consider most important is the PROCESS that would lead to a LASTING marriage for Christian youths. Those who are married who are taking a position on this should consider what worked for them; we all should look BACK at our experiences before heaping burden on those who are yet to cross the scale. There is a need to properly define what dating versus courtship means. I will NOT encourage my daughter to COURT anyone she does not know - to me, the process of KNOWING is dating. Many of us dated many people before we eventually court the one we married.

The word “dating” comes out of the word “date”, meaning appointment to meet. The question is what you are doing during your date. Using the time to know each other or spending it in amorous acts without a stamp of marriage. Christians are not supposed to engage in the later.

Many of our children have been dating without tagging it so – some of us parents consent to this already. When your daughter had a male friend visit her at home and we said yes because we knew it would be under our watch, that is dating. When your son spent time with his female friend from the church during lunch time or immediately after church that is dating. Courtship comes when both parties have agreed to go all the way to marriage, i.e. after western "engagement" where a man gives his to-be a ring (not Nigerian engagement). Dating may not always work out. But, youth should not be engaging in a courtship over and over again when they realize the person they had committed to is not the right one - this can cause a lot of heartaches. Dating has no commitment while courtship has some weight of commitment in my opinion. To me, Christian youth should first build themselves up to know the scripture – know their right from left, be prayerful about the choice of who to marry, step out in faith to date godly men who they are attracted to – if a commitment comes out of it based on several factors important to them, they should follow through with courtship. Courtship should help young people understand what will happen after the wedding day and be prepared to live a godly Christian life. This period should include teaching our children how to be a man or woman in a marriage relationship, how to be the head and how to be the support beside a man, teach them about working out differences because they are both different even though they see many things they have in common, how to manage their finance in a modern world (e.g. a man living in the West cannot be a sole provider except he is a millionaire, he needs the woman to contribute; practice saving some for the future, etc.), how to forgive because they will hurt each other, to look out for each other among other things. I will encourage my daughter to date without giving herself away free and definitely encourage courtship also.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ISE L'OGUN ISE (WORK IS THE PANACEA TO POVERTY)

Ise ni ogun ise (Work is the panacea to poverty) mura si ise ore mi (Be conscientious my friend in your work) ise ni a fi n di eni giga (Through hard work can we excel) ti a ko ba ri eni feyintin (If there is none to create a pathway to the top for you) bi ole la n ri (It is as if we are lazy) ti a ko ba ri eni gbekele (If there is no one to be your mentor and godfather) a tera mo ise eni, (Work harder then, don't give up, innovate, there is dignity in labor, a way will open up for you soon) Iya re le l'owo (Your mom may be super rich) Baba re le l’esin lekan (You dad could have real estate in choice places) T’oba gbo’ju le won o te tan ni mo so fun oh (If you trust in their riches, your shame is around the corner) Ohun aho j’iya fun kii t’ojo (What you did not labor often does not last, because you might not value them) Ohun ta ba s’ise fun nii pe l’owo eni (It is what you work for that becomes a treasure) Apa lara, Igunpa niye kan (Arms are your f...
Post a Comment
Read more
  THE GREATEST ASSET EVER – LAND “Every time I make a movie, I buy a LAND” – Tiffany Haddish (Actress, Comedian, Singer, and Producer). If you do not know yet, I announce to you that the greatest asset that will give you an assured return, whose value hardly depreciates, is LANDED property . Reflect on the major wars going on right now in the world that are predicated on the issue of LAND. WHY? It is one of the GEM God endows humanity with that is finite in quantity. While the human population continues to increase, land area remains the same or is diminishing due to climate change. The Russia's war in Ukraine , the Gaza war , the DRC-M23 war/Rwanda , Sudan's civil war , the Cambodia–Thai war , herdsmen-farmers' violence in Nigeria and the Ethiopian civil war … all are predicated on access to land and what is in it – rare earth minerals . So, in 2026 , if you have the opportunity to invest in an asset, think about landed property.
Post a Comment
Read more

WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO EXTREMELY GOOD PEOPLE

There is a saying in my language, Yoruba , that “Igi to ba to, kii pe n’gbo” – meaning, the good ones do not seem to last or live long. WHY? Tatiana Schlossberg, granddaughter of John F Kennedy (The U.S. President who championed the civil rights movement to end discrimination; one of the greatest U.S. presidents ever) and daughter of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis , passed away today from cancer at a young age of 35. Like her grandfather and many others in the Kennedy family, she dedicated her life to changing the world. She was a passionate environmental journalist for the New York Times and wrote a book titled "Inconspicuous Consumption: The Environmental Impact You Don’t Know You Have” in 2019 that won the Society of Environmental Journalists’ Rachel Carson Environment Book Award in 2020. Her life’s work sheds light on how individuals’ daily activities and choices exacerbate climate change issues . Tatiana Schlossberg's work focused on making complex environmental issue...
Post a Comment
Read more