Skip to main content

Dating or Courtship, which is right for a Christian?



Response to A Post Discouraging Christian Youths From Dating:

Caution! Dating or Courtship is all about semantics.
I think what we should consider most important is the PROCESS that would lead to a LASTING marriage for Christian youths. Those who are married who are taking a position on this should consider what worked for them; we all should look BACK at our experiences before heaping burden on those who are yet to cross the scale. There is a need to properly define what dating versus courtship means. I will NOT encourage my daughter to COURT anyone she does not know - to me, the process of KNOWING is dating. Many of us dated many people before we eventually court the one we married.

The word “dating” comes out of the word “date”, meaning appointment to meet. The question is what you are doing during your date. Using the time to know each other or spending it in amorous acts without a stamp of marriage. Christians are not supposed to engage in the later.

Many of our children have been dating without tagging it so – some of us parents consent to this already. When your daughter had a male friend visit her at home and we said yes because we knew it would be under our watch, that is dating. When your son spent time with his female friend from the church during lunch time or immediately after church that is dating. Courtship comes when both parties have agreed to go all the way to marriage, i.e. after western "engagement" where a man gives his to-be a ring (not Nigerian engagement). Dating may not always work out. But, youth should not be engaging in a courtship over and over again when they realize the person they had committed to is not the right one - this can cause a lot of heartaches. Dating has no commitment while courtship has some weight of commitment in my opinion. To me, Christian youth should first build themselves up to know the scripture – know their right from left, be prayerful about the choice of who to marry, step out in faith to date godly men who they are attracted to – if a commitment comes out of it based on several factors important to them, they should follow through with courtship. Courtship should help young people understand what will happen after the wedding day and be prepared to live a godly Christian life. This period should include teaching our children how to be a man or woman in a marriage relationship, how to be the head and how to be the support beside a man, teach them about working out differences because they are both different even though they see many things they have in common, how to manage their finance in a modern world (e.g. a man living in the West cannot be a sole provider except he is a millionaire, he needs the woman to contribute; practice saving some for the future, etc.), how to forgive because they will hurt each other, to look out for each other among other things. I will encourage my daughter to date without giving herself away free and definitely encourage courtship also.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

ISE L'OGUN ISE (WORK IS THE PANACEA TO POVERTY)

Ise ni ogun ise (Work is the panacea to poverty) mura si ise ore mi (Be conscientious my friend in your work) ise ni a fi n di eni giga (Through hard work can we excel) ti a ko ba ri eni feyintin (If there is none to create a pathway to the top for you) bi ole la n ri (It is as if we are lazy) ti a ko ba ri eni gbekele (If there is no one to be your mentor and godfather) a tera mo ise eni, (Work harder then, don't give up, innovate, there is dignity in labor, a way will open up for you soon) Iya re le l'owo (Your mom may be super rich) Baba re le l’esin lekan (You dad could have real estate in choice places) T’oba gbo’ju le won o te tan ni mo so fun oh (If you trust in their riches, your shame is around the corner) Ohun aho j’iya fun kii t’ojo (What you did not labor often does not last, because you might not value them) Ohun ta ba s’ise fun nii pe l’owo eni (It is what you work for that becomes a treasure) Apa lara, Igunpa niye kan (Arms are your fam...
Post a Comment
Read more

THERE IS A SHORT WINDOW FOR PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST, CONCERNED PARTIES SHOULD GRAB IT WITH BOTH HANDS

Exactly a year today, the terror organization Hamas struck terror in the hearts of Israelis. Over 1200, mostly innocent people were murdered in cold blood in the most barbaric way. The evil wrecked by Hamas reminds us of the evil we are capable of as humans if we think there will not be any form of accountability. The attack is condemned in all of its forms. Such should never happen again. My heart goes out to families mourning dead family members, and those still waiting for their families taken hostage to return to them alive.   Since then, the Israeli army has unleashed terror of their own on Hamas, in the process killing so many innocent Palestinians in an attempt to exterminate Hamas, and their own terror continues, mostly on innocent Palestinians. Israel engaged in what some called genocide by cutting off water, food, power, internet, and major resources to over 2 million Palestinians in Gaza. The world has condemned the way Israel is prosecuting the war because they have bee...
Post a Comment
Read more

When you discover the wisdom of the universe, it is as if...

When you locate the wisdom of the universe, it would be as if you have a magic wand... Your prosperity rolls over, you climb to the top faster and leave many behind... Funke Akindele's movie, "A tribe called Judah" remains the highest-grossing movie in Nollywood (Nigeria's movie industry). I saw the movie last week and could not make head or tail of it.. But something was unique about it. It was the first Nigerian movie that cast MANY actors from all the major ethnic groups in the nation.. These are top actors... For so long, Nollywood has been divided along ethnic lines... You have the Yorubas doing their thing, the Igbos doing their own and our brothers in the North, the Hausas doing their own. But this movie cast actors from everywhere, so, it became a must-see for almost all Nigerians ... Funke Akindele is a talented writer, actor, and producer. But she is also a shrewd businesswoman. She located the wisdom in tapping the talent of diverse ethnic groups in Nigeria...
Post a Comment
Read more