Skip to main content

Dating or Courtship, which is right for a Christian?



Response to A Post Discouraging Christian Youths From Dating:

Caution! Dating or Courtship is all about semantics.
I think what we should consider most important is the PROCESS that would lead to a LASTING marriage for Christian youths. Those who are married who are taking a position on this should consider what worked for them; we all should look BACK at our experiences before heaping burden on those who are yet to cross the scale. There is a need to properly define what dating versus courtship means. I will NOT encourage my daughter to COURT anyone she does not know - to me, the process of KNOWING is dating. Many of us dated many people before we eventually court the one we married.

The word “dating” comes out of the word “date”, meaning appointment to meet. The question is what you are doing during your date. Using the time to know each other or spending it in amorous acts without a stamp of marriage. Christians are not supposed to engage in the later.

Many of our children have been dating without tagging it so – some of us parents consent to this already. When your daughter had a male friend visit her at home and we said yes because we knew it would be under our watch, that is dating. When your son spent time with his female friend from the church during lunch time or immediately after church that is dating. Courtship comes when both parties have agreed to go all the way to marriage, i.e. after western "engagement" where a man gives his to-be a ring (not Nigerian engagement). Dating may not always work out. But, youth should not be engaging in a courtship over and over again when they realize the person they had committed to is not the right one - this can cause a lot of heartaches. Dating has no commitment while courtship has some weight of commitment in my opinion. To me, Christian youth should first build themselves up to know the scripture – know their right from left, be prayerful about the choice of who to marry, step out in faith to date godly men who they are attracted to – if a commitment comes out of it based on several factors important to them, they should follow through with courtship. Courtship should help young people understand what will happen after the wedding day and be prepared to live a godly Christian life. This period should include teaching our children how to be a man or woman in a marriage relationship, how to be the head and how to be the support beside a man, teach them about working out differences because they are both different even though they see many things they have in common, how to manage their finance in a modern world (e.g. a man living in the West cannot be a sole provider except he is a millionaire, he needs the woman to contribute; practice saving some for the future, etc.), how to forgive because they will hurt each other, to look out for each other among other things. I will encourage my daughter to date without giving herself away free and definitely encourage courtship also.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Owo A Pe K’anu Ko (Money money money – the tongue twisting word)

Eni to f’airii ise re’le ore yio mon baye tihun sara fun ni (You really would not know your value before your friends until you are jobless) Ore ata o si, se tio owo ba si l’owo (Many call you close/best friend because of what you have to share) T’owo ba tan n’ile l’aya bu ni lalakora (When there is nothing, then you know how little you could become before your very spouse) Osi ni je tani mon ori, owo lohun mo bao tan (Poverty is highway to rejection and wealth turn you to instant celebrity) Owo to so Adebisi, gbogbo araye patapata ni di ebi eni owo mba je (Money will turn you to the friend of all, and everyone will want to din with you like the wealthy man – Adebisi) Eni a ba ra kafi ra atupa to wa deni ajitana wo nko (One that could have been sold for a penny is now the morning star because of his sudden wealth). Se bi owo nini l’owo lo s’eru ile deni ti guni kese kiri (Wealth can turn a onetime slave to the master of all) Owo ape kanu kanu ko (Money money mone
Post a Comment
Read more

Nigeria Should NOT Fight the West's Proxy War in Niger Republic else...

Nigeria should be careful not to plunge itself into the Western nations' proxy war... We have no business going to war with the Niger Republic and its allies in Burkina Faso and Mali. They should let France, the U.S., and entire Western countries who have a strategic interest in Niger's Uranium reserve (25% of the global reserve is in this country) should fight the war themselves... Nigeria as a nation has no strategic interest or benefit in Niger. In fact, Tinubu needs to cancel the $1.2 billion wasteful rail line being built by his predecessor because he has cousins in Niger.. Nigeria is in a state of economic chaos. Fighting a war while we are living on borrowed money is the most stupid decision any country like ours will ever make... We will be fighting against countries that most of our loans are coming from.....and most of the burden of the war will be borne by Nigeria, and West Africa could be destabilized by this war for decades from now and we will impoverish our peopl
Post a Comment
Read more

WHY ARE YOUNG NIGERIANS DYING IN DROVE

It is disheartening when you read about young people in Nigeria dying from mysterious ailments. This speaks volumes about the state of healthcare delivery in the country.... it is practically non-existent for poor and middle-class Nigerians. .. Hospitals have been Undertaker houses for decades and successive governments have done nothing to help the situation.... People die of sicknesses that will cost a few hundreds or thousands of naira to treat... where are those hospitals, where are the doctors and nurses (most of them have left and some are boarding the plane as I am writing to leave), and where are the supplies to treat, where is the ethics - many are prioritizing money above their oath, where is the compensation for healthcare workers, where are the modern equipment, where is the power to keep the hospitals afloat, where are other utilities.....? There is a deep connection between access to qualitative healthcare and the prosperity of a nation. A healthy workforce is a productiv
Post a Comment
Read more